Archive | November 2015

Purpose and Provision

God is truly a wonderful Father. His goodness is immeasurable. He’s given me a message, and emphasized more than once that it’s important.

I wrote down the exact message. The first part reads:

“Precious privilege is provided to the ones born of this blood. The blood given by Me through My Son. Those are born to Me.They become born to Me. They become mine. But to be in my presence, they must be abiding by my heavenly rules. They are breaking my rules, but expecting my promises.”

God wants people to understand that there are precious privileges given to those in His family. We, as His children, have to know and understand that being born into His family means privilege. It entitles us to the privilege of His works, and the promises He has made. Privilege entitles you to your Father’s provision.

Ephesians 1:5 He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.

The New Living Translation reads: God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Brethren of the Lord is your purchased privilege. When we sin (break God’s rules), we disqualify ourselves from receiving the blessings God has promised us.

Ephesians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

God has promised us every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms — but when we live in sin (break His rules), we are no longer entitled to them. He didn’t just promise them to us — He promised them to us in Christ. His promises are available to those in union with Jesus. He can’t be in union with a sinful heart.

Isaiah 59:2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

We cannot break His rules, and expect His promises.

It hurts God when we can’t receive all of the blessings He has reserved for us. Imagine preparing a huge banquet feast for your loved ones. You go to great lengths to make sure there is an abundance of provision, food and good things. But on the day of the feast, 5 of your loved ones are too sick to come. You might feel disappointed that they weren’t able to attend because they missed out on the good things you prepared for them. But if you truly love them, you would be hurt that they were too sick to attend. Their well-being would be of greater concern than the feast that you prepared. The sickness keeping us from the provision and promises of God is sin. He wants us to be eligible to receive His abundant provision and blessings. But we cannot break His rules and expect His promises.

Through His great love and mercy, He has provided us with a way to remain in good standing — so that we are eligible to receive what He has stored up for us.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

We all sin and fall short of God’s glory. But it’s important to take care of the spiritual stains of sin. We can’t allow our sins to remain unsettled before God if we want access to His abundant supply of provision and privilege.

Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

God wants to help us clean up the stains of sin in our lives. If sin was not a big deal, we wouldn’t have needed a Savior to rescue us from it’s effect.

There are more great benefits to having access to God’s abundant supply.

Receiving the spiritual blessings that God has reserved for you unlocks your purpose.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

According to His word, God prepared works for us in advance. That means we are not the ones who decide what our purpose is. God decides that in advance for every person. Your purpose is revealed when you receive His spiritual blessings.

Provision comes from the Father. Make Him your focus. You are born of purpose, and privileged to be worthy.

With love,

The second part of the message given to me is this:

“Precious promises are provided when I am purposefully praised — Praised by your heartfelt purposes. I’m a Provider. I’m a Provider of Good things. I’m a Provider of immortal promises of good things. Bring forth your praise. Bring forth your praise. Bring forth your praise.”


Psalm 150

Praise the Lord!

Praise God in his sanctuary;
    praise him in his mighty heaven!
Praise him for his mighty works;
    praise his unequaled greatness!
Praise him with a blast of the ram’s horn;
    praise him with the lyre and harp!
Praise him with the tambourine and dancing;
    praise him with strings and flutes!
Praise him with a clash of cymbals;
    praise him with loud clanging cymbals.
Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord!

Praise the Lord!

God, make me a gardener

God is so amazing.

Months ago He planted a desire in my heart to want a garden. I know He did it because I don’t know anything about gardening, and never even thought twice about it. All of a sudden — right around the time I got super serious about cultivating my relationship with God — I really REALLY started to want a garden. I’m talking fruit trees, herbs and vegetables in the backyard …and beautiful flowers in the front and back.

gardenn flowers flowerss strawberries  peach watermelon

I’ve spent time watching gardening videos on youtube. I’ve called around town trying to find gardening classes. I picked out a sunny spot in the yard. I look at pictures of beautiful gardens online. I stopped an older woman in the grocery store because she had plants in her buggy, and asked her for gardening tips. I pray for this garden to happen — and I have no explanation other than God as to why I want it so bad. I asked God to teach me how to garden — and bless the ground so that the crops flourish.

I was praying recently, and my garden came to mind. As, I started thinking more about it, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that this blog is the garden God placed in my heart! Wow, He’s amazing! I still want a real one — and I’ll have it before I leave this Earth.

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I just wanted to share that. When God gives you an assignment, He knows how to make it the joy of your heart. He’s a Good Good Father! Everyone is welcome to have some food from this garden. It’s free!

And when I plant my physical garden this spring, the pictures will become a part of this blog.

lemon fruit tree pot


I want to share something that God’s Holy Spirit told me about why this blog will help me be fruitful in His ministry. He told me that the garden I desire will become a farm of faith. He told me these things:

“You want to be a gardener, so you will be given the proper frame of mind. 

A farmer is someone who makes time. A farmer is more than favorable towards his profession. A farmer is reproachful of anything that keeps him from his business. Farming is productive. It doesn’t worry about the produce. The produce comes when the ground is maintained. 

It’s important to preach the message received. Provide them with the wisdom that is given. Many moral messages provide them with.”

**Update 2**
The Holy spirit continues to minister to me about this garden.  He tells me to always pray for the right reasoning of things. That means to be given a proper perspective of the things I want.

He tells me the reasoning of my heart’s desire to be a gardener is to bring forth wisdom. Wisdom is the fruitage of the Wise One.

I lack understanding in many things, and sometimes get frustrated because of it. He’s helping me understand that wisdom is a fruit that takes time to harvest.

Thank you Holy Spirit.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

When to say “I’m not in it”

The Holy Spirit taught me some things today. I unknowingly opened a door to the enemy, and it’s on my heart to share what I’ve learned. As odd as it might sound, it involves Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson.

I don’t endorse any Presidential candidate. I’m not involved in politics. I don’t know anything about politics.

Recently Dr. Carson admitted to the public that he comes from a very violent past. He confessed to many acts of rage that range from going after people with bricks & hammers, to stabbing a friend in the abdomen, to attacking his own mother. He says he locked himself in a bathroom and prayed, and God changed him. In other words, he was delivered from being an angry-tempered man, and transformed into a new, mild-tempered person.

Since he made those confessions, other candidates have called him a liar… media outlets have reported that no one can be found to corroborate his story — and I’ve personally heard several people refer to him as crazy, a liar, and other names.

Yesterday, a group of people that I was around started talking about Carson. They were suspecting that he might be exaggerating about all the violence. The conversation quickly turned to making fun of him. As the group laughed, I did too. I even threw in my own joke…not because I think he’s lying — but because in that moment I simply thought it would be funny.  Afterwards, I felt bad about it, but I thought it bothered me because making fun of people is wrong. So, I said a quick prayer to God apologizing for making fun of Carson, and didn’t think much else about it… until today.

I took a nap around noon, and had a disturbing dream. I woke up under physical attack by a real demon — the same demon I was delivered from weeks ago. I knew it was the same one, because demons have personalities. This one is a demon of sex and perverted acts. I wrote about it in “Jesus, Take the Wheel“. I know with all my heart that I was delivered by the Lord. I’ve had nothing but peaceful rest ever since. So I knew a spiritual door had been opened for this wicked spirit to be there.

I started praying out loud, asking the Holy Spirit to help me recall whatever I did to open that door — so that I could repent. I was feeling guilt and shame, but I was unclear about what I did. Then, Carson came to mind. I thanked the Holy Spirit and  immediately started confessing. I told God, I was with a group of people and the topic of Carson came up…and I got involved in laughing at him, and even made fun of him too. I told God I knew it was wrong when I did it. I spilled every little detail out to Him and asked Him to forgive me. Once the confession was made, I almost felt like God was still waiting. That’s when the Holy Spirit helped me understand that my confession had to include repentance.

I knew then that whatever I did had to be deeper than making fun of Carson. I didn’t understand. But I knew that something about my sin was truly offensive to God — so that offense was my sincere repentance. I told God, I never meant to offend Him, and that I didn’t know making a joke was so serious. I asked for forgiveness for making fun of Carson, and for offending Him in a way that I didn’t understand… in the name of Jesus.

When I got done praying, I could literally feel the devil trying to force feelings of guilt and shame on me. I spoke out loud saying, guilt and shame have to go. I am forgiven in the name of Jesus. I kept speaking it. I cried out to the Holy Spirit to give me back the peace that I had before this incident. I confessed and repented — and I know that is what sets me free from the enemy’s guilt, shame and attacks. I knew the enemy was trying to take full advantage of that open door. As I cried, I felt the peace coming back and the Holy Spirit said to me, “I’m here”.

I asked Him what happened — and what I could do to keep it from happening again. I asked if making fun of Carson was that big of an offense to God? The Holy Spirit began to speak to me, and teach me.

First, He told me that I was in His care and the enemy could no longer legally be there. Then He reminded me of the last blog I wrote. In the blog, I wrote about how God delivered me, and changed me in a way that only He could. I wrote very personal things that I hid from people for years. I prayed over the blog, and told God that it was my gift to Him to write about what He did for me.

The Holy Spirit told me that to God, that gift was precious — and in order for Him to fully use it for His glory, there couldn’t be a blemish in the heart from which it came. He told me that out of everyone in the room who was laughing at Carson — I know the power of being delivered by God. I know that it’s real, and that it will truly change and free a person. I gifted a blog to God about that very thing. I wrote about being delivered in a previous blog that included a message from the Lord. So when I laughed at Carson with those who called him a liar — that was the sin.

Galations 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

The Holy Spirit told me that my mockery was the enemy’s open door.

I asked Him what I could have done differently. He spoke very clearly when He said: You have to be able to say “I’m not in it”. He said there will be times when I will have to tell Jesus in my heart “There are things going on around me that I can’t control,  but I’m not getting in it because I’m Yours”. The Holy Spirit told me there will come a time when demons infest the atmosphere — and there will be death and destruction all around, but those in Christ will be able to say, “In the name of Jesus, I am not in it.”

He told me “I’m not in it” is not to belittle people. It’s a way to freely admit in the face of evil that you’re a child of God.

The Holy Spirit is the best teacher anyone could have. He’s freely given to every person who accepts Jesus as their Lord and Savior. He wants to teach us how to close all doors to the enemy and remain under the authority of our Heavenly Father.

I didn’t understand the severity of my offense — but that didn’t make me exempt from the cause and effect of stepping out of line. To get back in right standing, I had to confess and repent.  All things work according to God’s Holy will. The Holy Spirit was here for me through it all. I’m more grateful to be taught than anything.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I knew nothing about sin opening spiritual doors to the enemy until my Pastor, Joann Rosario Condrey taught me. To understand better, I strongly encourage you to watch this: A Christian’s Redemption: Joann Rosario Condrey 

I pray that this blesses you.

With love.

The gift of a clean sweep

Desperation was my new beginning. In today’s society, to be desperate is a character flaw – a humiliating weakness.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

If it weren’t for my desperation – I’d still be stuck in my mess. I knew it was not God’s will. Every time I tried to change, I ended up in it. My will-power would only take me so far – and before I could see how it happened, I was back in it. Every time, for years – it returned, and I never saw it coming.

I was trapped in it. I was ashamed of it. After years of failed attempts to escape it, I realized it was no accident that I was in it. I knew only one person could rescue me. I didn’t just want to get out – I desperately wanted out.

I kicked through a pile of dirty clothes, put my face on the floor – and made a desperate cry to God for help.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the expression “It looks like a tornado came through here”. For years, that expression applied to my life. My room, my bathroom, my car, my desk, the inside of my purse (everywhere) — looked like a tornado blasted through. It wasn’t your ordinary mess. It was the “can’t see the floor” mess that took a week or more to clean.

I don’t remember when it became normal for me to have the messiest room in the house. To those close to me, it was no secret. My door remained closed when family and guests came over. No one was allowed inside. I didn’t have the energy to even begin cleaning it. The mess was overwhelming. As much as I hate to admit it, my room looked a few boxes short of the hoarding shows you’d see on TV.

This blog is not to simply air my dirty laundry. The Lord is my witness – this is something I never wanted anyone to know. But God has been so good to me, and there is nothing I won’t give Him. He deserves my praise for what He’s done for me. He heard my cry that day. I only saw the exterior of my dilemma. He got to the root of it. I asked Him to help me clean up my room. In turn, He cleaned up my life.

James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I asked for something simple – but He’s not a simple God. He knew I needed more than a clean room to remain free. I needed a clean heart. His gift to me was perfect.

Psalm 51:10-12 Make a clean heart in me, O God. Give me a new spirit that will not be moved. Do not throw me away from where You are. And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Let the joy of Your saving power return to me. And give me a willing spirit to obey you.

He started resolving my dilemma by convicting my heart. I wanted to be closer to Him – and I started seeking Him. (give me a willing spirit)

The more I sought Him, the more He gave me encouragement to continue seeking. He became the passion of my heart. Every day, my heart turned towards Him more. I made willing choices to stop doing things that I knew were displeasing to Him. Not because I’m so righteous – but because He’s so righteous. (give me a willing spirit)

Not that night – but overnight, He gave me the motivation to clean up the mess.  I woke up one day, and knew I was going to get it done. I knew I had to do the work, and I couldn’t stop until it was complete. I knew He was helping me – because for many years it was impossible for me to tackle the issue myself.

He’s so righteous that He gave me desire to do things that I would never do for myself – Things that would cause me to live more abundantly.

He created in me a willing spirit to listen to nothing but worship music. (and a desire to not watch TV at all) I never in my life listened to worship music – ever. But He gave me the desire, and through worship music, He introduced me to my Pastor, Joann Rosario Condrey. She taught me about how sin creates open doors to the enemy. When doors are open to him, he can legally bind you and create strongholds in your life. I was undoubtedly bound – and He taught me why I was bound, through Joann.

My sins were filthy before God (all sins are) – and as long as I lived in those sins, a spirit of filth legally bound me. At the time, I was spiritually blind to it. It weighed me down and kept me in a state of weakness and shame. But because of His great love and mercy, I turned away from my sins – and every binding was broken.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

God knew that unless He fixed the root of my problem – I would end up right where I started. In order to truly fix the problem, I needed to understand why it existed. To accomplish that, I needed to be closer to Him.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

God gave me a desire to seek Him (give me a willing spirit).

That was the perfect gift — because running after Him is equivalent to running away from sin. Staying away from sin – and confessing & repenting when we fall short – keeps us under the authority of Christ, which no other kingdom can penetrate. That’s how I’ve been able to remain in a place of cleanliness.

To the pleasant shock of everyone who closely knows me — my room is *and remains* the cleanest in the house. It bothers me now to see any clothing or paper thrown on the floor. I have a strong desire to make my bed before I leave for the day. I enjoy a clean environment in every way. These are traits I didn’t have when I was living with unconfessed sin – with doors wide open to the enemy.

God redeemed me – But unless He taught me, my life would have returned to the way it was. I had to learn to confess. Jesus went to great lengths to free me from the authority brought on by sin. The enemy never wants us to fully understand what that sacrifice entitles us to. The benefits are not just reserved for us in heaven – but it provides abundance while we’re still in our physical bodies.

It’s important to understand, the enemy doesn’t use the same arrow to target every prey. For me, he kept me in spiritual and physical filth – and fear. The truth is, anything that overpowers your ability to be free in any way is a binding of the enemy. It could be depression, low self-esteem, addiction to anything (money, drugs, sex, lies, arrogance)… whatever binds you — whatever you’re stuck in – confess it, and be set free.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

I pray that this blesses you.

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

With love


“It’s not me… It’s You”

I told myself that I was going to write another blog. I had nothing to say. I waited… and prayed.. And then a thought came to me. “Are you doing this to be relevant?”

I replied, “No – I want to do God’s will.”

So He gave me my blog in 4 words: “Spend time with me.” 

Thank you Holy Spirit — It’s not me, it’s You.

Job 12:13 “But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are His.

He is amazing — and I’m nothing without Him.

with love

Not today Devil….Slamming the door on the curse

In my heart, I give thanks for my Pastor. Her name is Joann Rosario Condrey. She’s the pastor at RainFire Church in Douglasville, GA. She taught me something recently that I believe with my whole heart the world should know.

She taught me something about sin that I never knew in my life. She taught me how it opens spiritual doors that we would never willingly open — doors to a domain where the enemy makes the rules. And once you enter the enemy’s turf — you’re in a place that operates under his legal authority. The devil deeply desires for you to never understand this teaching. Because as long as you don’t get it — he can keep you in the dark.

John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I’d like to introduce you to Joann’s message, and offer you a chance to listen for yourself: A Christian’s Redemption: Joann Rosario Condrey and Joann Rosario Condrey: Redeemed From the Curse

Learning this teaching helps me understand why it’s important to repent as quickly as possible whenever any type of sin is committed. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve, and the very first sin.

Genesis 3:17-19 To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you,and you will eat the plants of the field.By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken;for dust you are and to dust you will return.”

According to the word of God, a lot changed for mankind immediately following sin’s entrance into the world. Adam and Eve got kicked out of the garden that God freely maintained for them. They had to work for their own food — by the sweat of their brow. The ground came under a curse. Eve’s birth pains were greatly increased. Death entered the world through the curse of sin. It displaced us from our union with God — and separated us from the Father.

Adam was 930 years old when he died. He wasn’t created to die. He was pure perfection, and sin killed him slowly. As sin increased, the lifespan of men decreased. Everyone born into sin became subject to that curse. When God created mankind, it was not His will for us to live under any curse. But there is cause & effect in the spiritual realm. Just like if you break a physical law, there are repercussions and penalties.

Before the curse, the peace of God was on the Earth. After the curse, everything went downhill. Adam and Eve’s firstborn murdered his brother – over time, sickness and disease increased.. and sin rapidly grew. Mankind was living in a land ruled by the enemy — under the enemy’s authority.

Luke 4:6 “I will give you the glory of these kingdoms and authority over them,” the devil said, “because they are mine to give to anyone I please.

So God sent Jesus to be our Savior. He died to redeem us — purchase us at a price. The price was His own righteous blood. He purchased us BACK —  from under the authority of the enemy that is brought on by sin.

It’s important to remember that yes, Jesus’ sacrifice purchased us from that authority — but every time you sin, you give that authority right back to the enemy. The moment you sin, RUN to the One who washes you. Don’t procrastinate.

1 John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

Repenting immediately after you mess up is the equivalent to slamming the door on the devil’s authority over you. It’s like telling him, “Not today devil.” Don’t let shame keep you from repenting quickly. There is nothing you can ever do that could take God by surprise. Ecclesiastes says there is nothing new under the sun. Everything that can possibly be done has already been done before. The longer that sin is unconfessed, the longer the enemy has an open door of authority over you. This doesn’t mean that there will never be consequences for your sin. But closing the door quickly through repentance helps to minimize further damage.

The enemy only needs for you to be on his turf for a split second to infest your mind,heart and spirit. He will waste no time downloading spirits of doubt, fear, unforgiveness, numb consciousness towards sin, pride, hate, lust, arrogance, depression, worthlessness, and whatever else he desires — into your spirit. It takes time, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to purge and cleanse that stuff out. So when we go ask for forgiveness, yes God will forgive that sin — but in our spirit, there’s an infestation that the enemy planted while we were on his turf — that we don’t even realize is there. Some seeds remain hidden until their leaves begin to sprout. Sin opens doors for the enemy to plant in you.

Jesus’ sacrifice isn’t a “free pass” to live in sin. It washes our spirit from the stains of sin, as we strive to live holy & pleasing to God. It keeps us in union with our Heavenly Father — and under the authority of our Lord and Savior Jesus.

I used to believe Jesus dying for my sins would only benefit me after this life is over. The forgiveness of  sin takes away the devils authority over your current life. When he’s shut out, you can live in peace, joy and abundant hope — all the things the enemy will never let you have under his authority.

Satan wants us to live life unaware of the access that we give to him when we remain in unconfessed sin.

Acts 3:19 Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord

Who doesn’t want to be refreshed by the Lord??? I do!

Thank God for the free gift of The Holy Spirit. He will help us want to to live a lifestyle that closes doors to the enemy. The apostle Paul says in Romans chapter 3 that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. That’s why God gives us a Helper called the Holy Spirit. He’s promised as a deposit to everyone who accepts Jesus as their Lord. A deposit is like a down payment — to ensure to you that more inheritance is to come for receiving the Son of God. You can read more about that here. God is good.

When you seek God, the Holy Spirit renews your mind and personality — and places a desire to live holy inside of you. Your life will become a witness to others through your transformation — the kind of transformation only made possible by power of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to make you holy, and He will not fail you. Read the entire book of Ephesians to learn more about Him. It’s 6 chapters. You can do it in a week if you set aside one chapter a night. Get to know Him — He’s Amazing. Talk to Him like a person — an invisible person. He will make Himself known to you when you have faith that He’s real. And He wants you to desire to have a relationship with Him. It was awkward for me at first because I was raised with a different set of beliefs. I was 100 percent honest with Him. I told Him it was hard for me to talk to Him and think of Him as a person – and I asked Him to Help me with it. Giving Him an invitation to be to you what God sent Him to be will catapult you in your Christian journey.

Think about this: The Holy Spirit is personally sent by God to every believer to help you get to heaven. That’s just how much He wants you to make it there. Give God glory.

Ephesians 4:22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self,which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;  to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I pray this message blesses you — and helps you in your Christian faith journey.

With love.

If this blog encourages you, I think you will also love this: Joann Rosario Condrey: Remembering God’s Benefits

Give Him time!

This morning after taking my son to school, I was asking the Holy Spirit what I can do for Him today… I knew I needed to complete a blog article — but I wanted to go back to sleep first. I worked past midnight last night and still felt sleepy. Before I got out of the car, I waited to see if the Holy Spirit would reveal what I should write about after my nap.

Jeremiah 33:3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

I heard a super-soft whisper say “stay awake”…

Ok, so for a split second, I was tempted to act like I didn’t hear it. I was so sleepy!! So I sat there, like maybe He would change His mind because He knew I was sleepy.. (He didn’t)

Before I got out of the car, I heard “Give me time”… My mind initially interpreted that as “it would take time before He does something for me”… I could almost feel the Holy Spirit giving me the side-eye.  And then it hit me — He doesn’t need time to prepare for anything he has for me… He wants me to give Him time. Ok, I agreed.

So I came inside and fed my spirit for hours. I gave Him my time. I talked to Him…. told Him my concerns.. thanked Him…sang to Him… The minute I walked in the door, my sleepiness dissolved. It’s been a good day. Me and Him! He knew I needed to be in His presence to write this blog:  One word changed my life.

I hope this blesses you!

With love.

These are some of the videos I watched today:

Joann Rosario Condrey:In This World, Not Of It

Joann Rosario Condrey:The Truth About Your Purpose

Special Impartation Service with Papa, Apostle Nahum Rosario at RainFire Church

One word changed my life

I want to share something with you about how God changed my life with one word. I kid you not — one word from God changed and shifted my entire relationship with Him. One word drew me in, and unlocked revelations in my Christian journey.

It reminds me of the Yolanda Adams’ song “Open my Heart”. If you’ve never heard it, listen to it when you have a moment. It’s beautiful. It’s what she says in the last two verses that I love:

All I need to do
Is hear a single word from you
I open up my heart
Just one word could make
A difference in what I do Lord
I open my heart to you

You’re the lover of my soul
Captain of my sea
I need a word from you
That’s why I open up my heart

I never knew the power in hearing just one word from God, until he spoke this word to me. The amazing part is that it’s the first word I ever physically heard Him speak to me. It’s not the first correction He asked me to make — but the first word He allowed me to Hear from Him. God is not a random God. There’s a reason why it’s the first word I heard from Him. If God is building something with you — He will always start building it on solid ground.

I cried out to Him out of need and desperation. I needed bindings to be broken. At the time, I didn’t know they were bindings…I just knew I needed help with a lot of things. I wanted a real relationship with Him. I was desperate, and for the first time I got on my face and prayed. Soon after, I woke up one morning and literally heard the word: “Fast

I was a bit stunned. I was certain I heard it — but was stumped as to what happened. I remember ironing my clothes thinking, “I know I heard that. I know I heard the word fast… But what does it mean??”

The only time I ever heard the word fast in a spiritual context was in the first grade. A girl in my class named Joy wasn’t eating during lunch-time. I remember her father was a preacher. I asked her why she wasn’t eating, and she said she and her church were fasting. That’s all I knew of fasting. At the time, I was being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I was the kid who didn’t celebrate birthdays or holidays when everyone else was talking about how fun they were. So when I saw her not eating while everyone else enjoyed their meal — it stayed with me. And in my first-grade ability, I respected her for it.

30 years later, I hear this word “fast”. A seed God planted in my spirit in the first grade. (Wow, Thank you Holy Spirit for revelation)

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

So on that morning, I did a google search for “spiritual fast”. After I read what it meant, I knew nobody but God told me to do it.

These are some of the things I read that a sincere spiritual fast could help me with: A soul cleansing. A new desire for God. A deeper praise. A sensitivity to God’s voice. A new satisfaction.

What I gathered from reading is that everything I already asked for in prayer, could be achieved through fasting.

In my Christian journey, I’m learning to understand the power of faith. If God’s word says we only receive our salvation through faith in Jesus’ sacrifice — that’s got to be some powerful stuff! So if you want access to spiritual breakthroughs, revelations, and intimacy with God through fasting — you have to learn to believe the promises of God before you can see them. That’s faith.

I unknowingly used to think of God as a “Once Upon a Time” God. Like a story book. I thought people like Moses, Elijah, Noah, David and Solomon experienced God the way they did because they’re in the Bible. They lived a long long time ago, once upon a time…

The truth is, God is a very present God — and He’s working supernatural works every day through those who allow themselves to be vessels for His glory. I never really knew that — until I added fasting and prayer into my relationship with Him.

Acts 2:17 “‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.

When you fast to God, with a sincere heart – the spirit being on the inside of you awakens. That includes your spiritual mind and ears, and the eyes and ears of your heart.

The Holy Spirit told me this about the enemy: he comes to deceive, deny and destroy. The enemy never wants you to understand the power you’ll possess when you understand spiritual fasting. He wants to deceive you into believing its fanatical … deny you from that kind of divine access to your power source… and destroy you in your ignorance. Because he knows once you understand and practice fasting & prayer, the devil’s strongholds can be cast out of your life… and he’s trying his best to stay.

Mark 9:28-29 And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” So He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”

You don’t have to be running around vomiting green with your head twisting backwards to be strongly bound by the enemy. I speak from experience.

The enemy is diligently searching for any open door (accessed through unconfessed sin) to spiritually chain himself to you– he’s so skillful at doing it that you won’t even know you’re chained. That’s why the song says Jesus comes to “break every chain“. We need those chains broken — because the longer we feed/indulge in things of the enemy’s spirit (knowingly or unknowingly), his binding becomes stronger over us — and even our own prayers are too weak to break us free. We need a supernatural interceding sometimes. Fasting can give you that.

The enemy will  never let you eat at his table for free. His payment, is your spiritual coma. Our Heavenly Father is the only one that gives freely.

Revelation 22:17 The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

We desperately need the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the gift that keeps on giving. He’s the Advocate of God sent to reveal truth to those who accept Jesus as their Lord.

John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”

The Holy Spirit is a person. He’s a gentleman, as my Pastor (Joann Roasrio Condrey)  would say… So don’t expect Him to dump all of your mess in your lap at once. And even though you made the mess, He’s always willing to help you clean it up. When you’re serious about growing, He will reveal to you everything you need to know — as you need to know it. (teach you all things) Trust Him — He knows what He’s doing.

Have you ever been around someone so much that you start to behave and talk like that person? Personalities can rub off on people — especially children. When you develop a relationship with your Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit, His personality doesn’t just rub off on you — it grows inside of you.

Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

That’s the kind of fruit I pray for you and me!

I pray this blog blesses someone. I know what it’s like to want a deeper relationship with God. I still do! It will never be enough! I expressed to Him my sincere desire to know and love Him more… and when I truly Opened My Heart to God, he started a transformation inside of me with one word. “Fast”

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. 

With love.


Breaking up with a sex goddess

When I got serious and *determined* about my spiritual growth, I knew I had to make a lot of changes — but didn’t know where to begin. I was full of sin. I cursed. I was involved in fornication. I got offended easily and held grudges….. God was tugging at my heart and I wanted to change, but I had no idea where to start. One morning as I woke up, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You have a shrine of her.” I was immediately convicted. The very first thing God asked me to correct was not my involvement in fornication. It was not anything I viewed as an obvious sin. It was my idolization of Marilyn Monroe.

Exodus 20:3 You shall have no other gods before me.

The first of His 10 commandments to Moses was the first thing He addressed with me. Thank you Holy Spirit, because I didn’t realize that was the first commandment until this very moment.

Anyone who knew me, knew that I was a huge Marilyn Monroe fan. I had uncountable memorabilia with her image. When the Holy Spirit spoke to me that morning, I immediately confessed and asked for forgiveness. I never viewed my self-perceived love for Marilyn as worship towards her — until that moment. Weeks before, I had a dream about Marilyn that didn’t make sense until after the Holy Spirit convicted my heart.

In the dream, I was laying in my bed looking at the ceiling of my room. The ceiling in my room was fully covered with images of Marilyn. They were all different shapes, but every piece was perfectly carved so that they all fit together like a jig-saw puzzle. In the dream, I thought “Wow, whoever pieced all of that together so meticulously is very skilled!”

I knew the moment the Holy Spirit convicted my heart that the skillful blueprint came from the enemy. I remembered the exact moment I became “obsessed” with Marilyn. I visited New York City with my mom and a friend over 10 years ago. As we walked through Times Square, there was so much Marilyn merchandise. Literally, I decided right then that I wanted to collect Marilyn things. It was that simple. Thanks to my Pastor, Joann Rosario Condrey, I recently learned that unconfessed sin leaves open doors to the enemy to plant seeds, deceive, trap, bind, ect.. Back then, all of a sudden, I thought I needed a hobby. The enemy’s seed was planted. So, I started collecting as much Marilyn stuff as I could.

Soon after, people knew I liked Marilyn — so ‘she’ became the gifts I received from everyone. For birthdays, holidays, and “just because” — people flooded me with Marilyn things. Books, clothes, framed pictures, posters, postcards, shot glasses, coffee mugs, jewelry, underwear, pens, notepads, playing cards, magazines, I followed countless social media fan pages… There was no place in my world that I spent any significant amount of time, where an image of Marilyn wasn’t present. There was a picture of her on my desk at work, a calendar of her in the trunk of my car, a framed picture in my bathroom, countless books and memorabilia in my room, glasses in the kitchen.. every room had her there. I had enough shirts to wear her image every day of the month if I wanted.

One day, someone asked me why I loved her so much — and I had no answer. I didn’t even know why. Someone asked what my favorite Marilyn movie was — and I didn’t know because I had never watched any of her movies. Instead of a light bulb going off, and understanding that the obsession was placed in me — I decided to learn more about her. I read the books that were sitting on my shelves. I watched movies online. I fed my spirit as much Marilyn as I could — chasing the desire to know who she was.

The enemy knew that if he planted that seed in me — to idolize Marilyn (even in ignorance) — I would be living my life breaking God’s very first commandment.

I never allowed myself to even consider that Marilyn was my god. I was seeking to know her. I was in high admiration of her. In certain ways, if I’m honest, I was striving to be the reflection of her. I quoted her “sayings” as if they held some type of anointing. Whether I realized it or not, she was a god to me – and I was worshiping her in my heart out of ignorance.

1 John 5:21 Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.

When the Holy Spirit says move — get up and move. I knew instantly that my love affair with Marilyn was over.

I got out of bed that morning with a heartfelt mission. I prayed the entire time asking the Holy Spirit to not let me miss one thing. I searched every crack and corner for anything with her face, name, or resemblance. I did a thorough search, and threw away everything I found. I didn’t keep one thing. I didn’t care if it was a gift, or if the President gave it to me (I don’t know the President).. I threw everything away. It was enough for several loads of trash.

Honestly, I still find something from time to time that I missed in that search. And that reminds me that even with a deep cleanse, there’s always more to purge. And God doesn’t expect anyone to “get it all” the first time. He’s the cleanser. That’s why we must stay connected to the One that washes us — So He can point out where the stains are!

I love you.

Let’s pray for one another to be led and taught by the Helper and Advocate of God: the Holy Spirit. He’s promised to every one of us when we accept Jesus as Lord.

Ephesians 1:13-14 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

With love.

Jesus, Take the Wheel…

I had the most supernatural experience this week with the Holy Spirit. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out the best way to introduce the story, and coming up with nothing creative to say, I’ve decided to just tell it.

I visited– and joined — a new church this week: RainFire Church in Douglasville, GA. The Pastor, Joann Rosario Condrey, is an amazing woman of God who loves Jesus more than anything. I was drawn to her ministry after hearing some of her music on Pandora. The lyrics to “More Than Anything” pierced my heart, and caused me to look her up online. I wondered how she could read my heart in that song. Turns out, she’s a pastor, and she posts all her sermons online! I gave up on finding a church, after only finding what I considered “fluff” in the churches I previously visited. But, Joann made me excited about church again. So even though I live 5 hours from Douglasville, I joined — because I feel in my spirit that RainFire is where I belong.

Her Father is Apostle Nahum Rosario. I visited for the first time because he was coming for a special 2-day impartation service. When Pastor Joann said he taught her everything she knows, something in my spirit knew I was supposed to attend.

The Holy Spirit was very present during the service. Apostle Rosario, affectionately known as Papa, is the first to ever lay hands on me for prayer. I felt a power that brought me to my knees, and the emotion that followed brought me to my face. I had never experienced anything like it. The next day, I asked him to pray for 2 specific things for me: accurate knowledge of God, and the breaking of a specific binding. He once again lay his hands on my head and prayed. The second time, his voice sounded so much more authoritative, but I did not feel anything like the day before. I told God thank you, because I knew I didn’t have to feel anything. God’s anointing is with Apostle Rosario and Pastor Joann — and I believed something new in my spirit had no choice but to awaken in such strong presence of the Holy Spirit.

The next day, as I started the drive home, I began praying in the spirit. Almost immediately, the Holy Spirit came upon me very strongly. That’s when I had an actual encounter with Jesus. I will admit, before that experience I probably would have found it hard to believe that Jesus would visit someone in their car at 10 in the morning. I would have guessed that Jesus was more of a “come in your dreams” type of visitor. He visited me in the middle of morning traffic on a Thursday. I was overcome with emotion. I literally thought, “Jesus, how am I going to drive while sobbing my eyes nearly shut.”  If Jesus, made me say ‘Jesus take the wheel’ I probably would have fainted. Hearing Him say my name did something to me. To hear Jesus say your name is sweet to the soul. He told me He loves me, and that His Father loves me. I was being filled with the Holy Spirit and it was so unimaginably wonderful. I was so full of joy that I forgot about all my problems. Then, Jesus made me remember the binding that I needed to be broken. Immediately, my spirit began crying out to Him!! I heard my spirit say while sobbing, “You can arrest him!!!! You can arrest him Lord!!! You can arrest the demon that gives me nightmares.” Jesus’ words to me were this:  “I am your Rest. I said to him ‘Release her’ and he had to do it.”

I was so full of peace in that moment. I knew that I was free. My Lord Jesus did that for me. I had been harassed in my sleep for many years by a wicked spirit. I was terrified to sleep for quite some time — unaware what was causing the fear. Once I knew what was causing the fear, the demon entered my dreams and gave me nightmares. They included violence, sexual attacks, perverted acts, incest, and harassment. Jesus set me free. That very day, I got the best, most peaceful rest than I’d gotten in a very long time.. I can’t recall when my sleep felt more safe.

During my conversation with Jesus, the Holy Spirit filled me until I felt like I couldn’t be filled any more. Actually, I believe it was an overflowing of the Holy Spirit. I was praying in the spirit, bubbling over with joy and hope, when Jesus said some things to me that were very serious. It was a message for those entrusted with His flock. I didn’t know what to do with the information at first. I still don’t know if this blog is enough because it really has no followers. But I will be obedient, and write what the Lord told me.

He said those who are over the church who are not holy are not part of His body. He said those unholy ones proclaiming to be the body of Christ are not His body. He said a Holy head cannot have an unholy body. He said only the holy ones are His body, and the unholy ones need to know Psalm 103:6. He said He is the Lord, and He is executing acts of righteousness and judicial decisions for all those being defrauded. He said his flock is being oppressed and defrauded by the unholy ones claiming to be Christ’s body – and it has not gone unnoticed. He said, while mercy abounds thoroughly repent now. He stressed the word thoroughly. He said, thoroughly repent, and you will become the body of Christ. He said, when He comes, those entrusted with His flock who have defrauded the flock, and who have not repented will hear this from Him: “Get away from me. You are not my body and you never were.” He said He will arrest you, and say Go. He said that “Go” will send you under the Earth with the rest of the defrauders, and He will not come back for you. He said you will be destroyed with the enemy.

During the entire message, I felt a strong sense of urgency, and seriousness. At the same time I felt deeply that Jesus wants repentance more than anything. He deeply wants those ones to repent. He loves them, but hates whatever they are doing. He doesn’t want them to receive what they will receive if they don’t thoroughly repent. I have no idea what they’ve done, or who He’s talking about. He just told me those things — and I’m doing what I feel I have to do by sharing the message — leaving nothing out.

I pray that whoever the latter part of this message is for receives it in love.

Psalm 86:5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.

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