When to say “I’m not in it”

The Holy Spirit taught me some things today. I unknowingly opened a door to the enemy, and it’s on my heart to share what I’ve learned. As odd as it might sound, it involves Presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson.

I don’t endorse any Presidential candidate. I’m not involved in politics. I don’t know anything about politics.

Recently Dr. Carson admitted to the public that he comes from a very violent past. He confessed to many acts of rage that range from going after people with bricks & hammers, to stabbing a friend in the abdomen, to attacking his own mother. He says he locked himself in a bathroom and prayed, and God changed him. In other words, he was delivered from being an angry-tempered man, and transformed into a new, mild-tempered person.

Since he made those confessions, other candidates have called him a liar… media outlets have reported that no one can be found to corroborate his story — and I’ve personally heard several people refer to him as crazy, a liar, and other names.

Yesterday, a group of people that I was around started talking about Carson. They were suspecting that he might be exaggerating about all the violence. The conversation quickly turned to making fun of him. As the group laughed, I did too. I even threw in my own joke…not because I think he’s lying — but because in that moment I simply thought it would be funny.  Afterwards, I felt bad about it, but I thought it bothered me because making fun of people is wrong. So, I said a quick prayer to God apologizing for making fun of Carson, and didn’t think much else about it… until today.

I took a nap around noon, and had a disturbing dream. I woke up under physical attack by a real demon — the same demon I was delivered from weeks ago. I knew it was the same one, because demons have personalities. This one is a demon of sex and perverted acts. I wrote about it in “Jesus, Take the Wheel“. I know with all my heart that I was delivered by the Lord. I’ve had nothing but peaceful rest ever since. So I knew a spiritual door had been opened for this wicked spirit to be there.

I started praying out loud, asking the Holy Spirit to help me recall whatever I did to open that door — so that I could repent. I was feeling guilt and shame, but I was unclear about what I did. Then, Carson came to mind. I thanked the Holy Spirit and  immediately started confessing. I told God, I was with a group of people and the topic of Carson came up…and I got involved in laughing at him, and even made fun of him too. I told God I knew it was wrong when I did it. I spilled every little detail out to Him and asked Him to forgive me. Once the confession was made, I almost felt like God was still waiting. That’s when the Holy Spirit helped me understand that my confession had to include repentance.

I knew then that whatever I did had to be deeper than making fun of Carson. I didn’t understand. But I knew that something about my sin was truly offensive to God — so that offense was my sincere repentance. I told God, I never meant to offend Him, and that I didn’t know making a joke was so serious. I asked for forgiveness for making fun of Carson, and for offending Him in a way that I didn’t understand… in the name of Jesus.

When I got done praying, I could literally feel the devil trying to force feelings of guilt and shame on me. I spoke out loud saying, guilt and shame have to go. I am forgiven in the name of Jesus. I kept speaking it. I cried out to the Holy Spirit to give me back the peace that I had before this incident. I confessed and repented — and I know that is what sets me free from the enemy’s guilt, shame and attacks. I knew the enemy was trying to take full advantage of that open door. As I cried, I felt the peace coming back and the Holy Spirit said to me, “I’m here”.

I asked Him what happened — and what I could do to keep it from happening again. I asked if making fun of Carson was that big of an offense to God? The Holy Spirit began to speak to me, and teach me.

First, He told me that I was in His care and the enemy could no longer legally be there. Then He reminded me of the last blog I wrote. In the blog, I wrote about how God delivered me, and changed me in a way that only He could. I wrote very personal things that I hid from people for years. I prayed over the blog, and told God that it was my gift to Him to write about what He did for me.

The Holy Spirit told me that to God, that gift was precious — and in order for Him to fully use it for His glory, there couldn’t be a blemish in the heart from which it came. He told me that out of everyone in the room who was laughing at Carson — I know the power of being delivered by God. I know that it’s real, and that it will truly change and free a person. I gifted a blog to God about that very thing. I wrote about being delivered in a previous blog that included a message from the Lord. So when I laughed at Carson with those who called him a liar — that was the sin.

Galations 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

The Holy Spirit told me that my mockery was the enemy’s open door.

I asked Him what I could have done differently. He spoke very clearly when He said: You have to be able to say “I’m not in it”. He said there will be times when I will have to tell Jesus in my heart “There are things going on around me that I can’t control,  but I’m not getting in it because I’m Yours”. The Holy Spirit told me there will come a time when demons infest the atmosphere — and there will be death and destruction all around, but those in Christ will be able to say, “In the name of Jesus, I am not in it.”

He told me “I’m not in it” is not to belittle people. It’s a way to freely admit in the face of evil that you’re a child of God.

The Holy Spirit is the best teacher anyone could have. He’s freely given to every person who accepts Jesus as their Lord and Savior. He wants to teach us how to close all doors to the enemy and remain under the authority of our Heavenly Father.

I didn’t understand the severity of my offense — but that didn’t make me exempt from the cause and effect of stepping out of line. To get back in right standing, I had to confess and repent.  All things work according to God’s Holy will. The Holy Spirit was here for me through it all. I’m more grateful to be taught than anything.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I knew nothing about sin opening spiritual doors to the enemy until my Pastor, Joann Rosario Condrey taught me. To understand better, I strongly encourage you to watch this: A Christian’s Redemption: Joann Rosario Condrey 

I pray that this blesses you.

With love.

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